BEFORE YOU INVITE YOUR PEOPLE
Collect meal preferences on your wedding RSVP
The caterer needs a number. Your replies say “vegetarian,” “both,” and “whatever everyone else is having.” Before you can count meals, you need to know who wants what. Ask for a name beside each choice.
Start with the menu you can offer
Agree the choices with your caterer before adding the question. Keep meal preferences and dietary needs separate. They’re different conversations.
Use the names of the choices your caterer has given you. If guests are choosing a main course, say that. If you only need to know who wants a vegetarian meal at a buffet, ask that instead. The question should match the decision you’re making.
Check whether children have a separate menu and whether you need their ages to arrange it. Ask only for details the food provider needs. You can leave the rest out of the invitation.
Ask for each person’s choice
A couple replying together might want different meals. One tick beside “vegetarian” won’t tell you whether it’s for one person or both.
For one person, choosing one meal may be enough. For a household, a written list is often clearer: each name followed by their choice. Being able to tick both “vegetarian” and “chicken” doesn’t tell you how many of each to order.
Explain whether guests should answer for everyone in their party. Otherwise, a person may give their own choice and assume you’ll ask their partner separately.
Meal choices
Please write each person’s name and meal choice: [available choices].
Dietary needs
Does anyone in your party have dietary requirements or food allergies? Please include their name. You can also message us privately.
A children’s meal question
Will any children in your party need the children’s menu? Please list their names and [any age information the caterer needs].
Say which meal you mean
If you’re hosting a mehendi, sangeet, and reception, name the meal in each question. Guests shouldn’t have to guess whether they’re answering for one dinner or the whole wedding.
Give a reply deadline that leaves time to clear up missing answers before the caterer needs final numbers.
If someone is attending the ceremony but leaving before dinner, you don’t need to count them for that meal. Ask about attendance for the meal you’re planning rather than assuming every yes means a place at every table.
For several meals across a wedding weekend, keep the questions distinct. “Reception dinner on [date]” is easier to answer than “Food preferences for the wedding,” especially when a guest can only attend one evening.
Give dietary needs their own question
A meal preference tells you what someone would like. An allergy or other dietary requirement may need a more careful conversation about what the kitchen can provide. Don’t squeeze both into one vague “Any preferences?” question.
Ask guests to name the person concerned and offer a private way to contact you. You don’t need them to explain personal details in the family chat.
When you speak with the caterer, pass on the guest’s actual requirement and confirm what can be arranged. If anything is uncertain, go back to the guest before promising a meal.
Check the answers before you count
Match the meal choices to the number of people coming. If three people are attending and you have two meal choices, follow up.
Speak with the guest and caterer about allergies or other dietary requirements. Writing it on the RSVP is the start of that conversation.
If someone’s plans change, update their party size and meal details before confirming the food.
Look for answers such as “same as above,” “either,” or a meal choice with no name. Ask the guest to clarify while there’s still time. A little following up now is easier than trying to identify an unnamed dietary request during dinner.
When a couple changes from two people to one, check which person is still attending. Removing one meal at random could leave the wrong choice on your list.
Pass on one final meal list
Once replies are settled, give the caterer the agreed numbers and the dietary details they need. Keep guest names beside requests that have to reach a particular person.
If a late change comes in, tell whoever is preparing the food directly. Updating your guest list helps you stay organised, but the kitchen still needs to hear about it.
Frequently asked questions
Should everyone have to answer the meal question?
If you need a choice to order their meal, make the question required. Offer only the choices the caterer has confirmed.
What if the menu changes?
Tell the affected guests and ask them to confirm their new choice. Changing the question won’t tell you what someone who already replied would prefer.
What if a guest writes “either meal is fine”?
If you need a definite order, ask them to choose or confirm that they’re happy for you to choose. Record the agreed meal so it reaches the final count once.